Grace Tame, Autism and what it means to accept someone ♾️
9 July 2026
(first published 3 June, 2026)
In the current controversy (such a chicken-sh*t term, but anyway) about Grace Tame, there's something I don't think anyone is saying out loud.
A super quick over-simplification of the situation: Tame is Autistic, and has made a podcast for the ABC about being Autistic. Some people and groups have said she shouldn't receive any public funding because of things she said at a pro-Palestinian rally.
There's plenty of debate around what various words and phrases (such as "globalise the intifada", to pick one example) actually mean, and whether it matters more what the speaker meant or what the listener heard, and so forth. I won't add to it. But here's what I keep coming back to. Does a podcast about Autism have to be made by someone who's never offended anyone?
Because if so, that means we can't have podcasts about Autistics made by Autistics. We just can't. If you're waiting for the perfect Autistic person to come along, one who always says and does exactly the right thing in every situation, then you will be waiting literally forever, because offending people is what we do.
I offend people all the time. Sometimes I realise I've done it, because the person I'm talking to turns on their heel and strides away from me (I'm not great with body language, but I know that's a bad sign). More often, I find out from someone else. ("So-and-so told me she doesn't want to talk to you anymore.") Occasionally, I will try to contact an old friend only to discover that they've blocked me on Facebook, possibly years ago, leaving me feeling confused and guilty.
My personality grew around these problems, like a strangler vine around a crooked tree. I learned to be cautious, especially around people I couldn't afford to offend (i.e. everyone I loved). To rehearse every conversation in my head, trying to find every possible path like it was the world's worst choose-your-own-adventure book. None of it helped. I just came off as weird and fake as well as rude.
I don't offend people on purpose, and it's not because I'm a bad person—though that was my initial self-diagnosis, because nothing else seemed to make sense. It never occurred to me that I might be Autistic, because people like Tame weren't platformed by the ABC back then. Do you see?
People always want credit for being tolerant. "I have nothing against [insert marginalised group here]," they say, and pat themselves on the back for being such a good person. They don't feel broken or defective—they feel great! That must be nice. "If only everyone else could be more like me," they must think to themselves.
But "tolerance" should be starting gun, not the finish line. How about some accommodations? You shouldn't "tolerate" people in wheelchairs—you should build them a ramp.
That's what's happening here. Argue all you want about whether Grace Tame should have worn that F*CK MURDOCH shirt, or if you agree with her about Palestine, or whether should have smiled at ScoMo that one time. But her podcast might just be our ramp. Of course it should be publicly funded!
I say, "our", but to be honest, I might not even listen to the show. For me, it comes much too late. I've become who I've become. I've found a job where I can be alone 90% of the time, and where I can delete the wrong words before they do any harm. There's no "cure" for Autism, and if there was, I wouldn't take it—but the anxiety and depression can be suppressed, and I'm grateful for that. My family takes good care of me. I spend a lot of time with my cats. They don't like eye contact any more than I do.
But right now, someone else is bumbling around in the world with no idea why everything is so hard, and why their best is never good enough for anyone, ever. Grace Tame could save that person.
Should we stop her, just because she's "offensive"?